Je Suis Le Vent

I think the way the arrow flies is how i see my life:
A rush of turbulence and strife upended with clear vision.
As the vision comes to pass it seems the earth does know,
So in jealously it rises up to swallow me and bring the night.

Or is it I am the air that is jostled by the arrow's flight?
Knocked aside by razors edge then caught by feather wings.
Carried for a lifetime to places never known
And deposited upon shallow earth to sit atop its wooden throne.

If I said I was the wind, would you turn away and laugh?
The one that feels the most at home panting shallow breaths.
The one that lives to bound and tussle within some outer chaos
Exists within to know himself and his oft conflicting elements.

Yet peace is not an end to conflict, I'm sure the wind does know.
It is simple maturation of the individual and so
External vision may reveal a shattered saddened past
But words revealed from sadness's steel and quenched in loves reserve
Are often clear as summer days and accurate as arrows guided by a smiling

Breeze.

Afterglow

I have already seen the afterglow
But the natal glow
Is yet to be known by my eyes

Its too late to play
The drums in the living room
But play them anyways
So we can camouflage the words
That make sound ugly

I prefer not knowing
The pasts, but they keep showering
Them upon me.

Take your fire hose of woes
And place them gently in your room
Take the key and swallow it
So we can revisit that place
In a few hours

In the interim
If the silence is prodigious
Just know the word you chose
Was the wrong one

I know not what the future holds
But I know it glows
Like soft coals in the summer sun

I have seen the afterglow
And it burns
Like a thousand suns

A windswept flower
Falls appart when sought idly.
Wildness cannot be--
Should it be for wildness' sake.
All tigerss lame enclosed.
Yet wrestling eternally
Fierce eyes that wont die.
Methinks this is living.

yes

i like the solemn glow
of rocky mountains
after a hot summer day

i like innocent dancing
through rolling rivers
to the sound of the coyotes yelp

i like sunburns-
but not the kind
that dont get dissappointed faces
from loved ones

i like a rocky landscape
that is covered by
pine needle forests
sheltered by snow

I like moments of confusion
when i forget that something
that is connected to repetition
and learn chaos

i like a fiery soul
a fighting soul
a broken soul
thats mended

I like happyness
because i've seen the dark side of the moon
and well
there isn't much to see.

i like the sound of music
especially hopeful music
because life is full of hope

i like to cover all my bases
only to know i talked about nothing
but feel better anyways

Cashin those checks

My words render me naked.

I may stand clothed in front of you,
But I am naked.
I may sit smiling,
But I am,
In this very moment,
The most terrified I have been
In many years.

This feeling confuses me:
Judgement.
When was the last time I cared about
Others judgement.
When was the last time
I felt my words
Could be my destruction
And not my salvation?
What does this all mean?

My writing is such a part of me.
They are the indellible ink on paper.
Thoughts mortared into some reality
Defining my thoughts.
Cause its so easy to have thoughts,
But so hard to set them in stone.
Cause when they are set
You can't just walk away.

I look back to the beginning of this leg
Of my journey.
The fear was that the words
Would not result in action.
The fear was that
I did not mean what I said,
And that I could not do
What I said.
Yet I stand here,
Naked.
Clothed only by my deeds
Cause I'm so scared of my own words.
For the first time,
Am I afraid to write checks
Knowing that I can cash em?

What does it mean
To finally be afraid
Of what many others
Have
Feared their
Entire
Lives.

What does it mean
To be human?

Penny for a thought, a Nickel for some Soul

I saw beauty in a painted bus
As it slowly rolled away
I wondered where they went
As muted music played
So much to build a universe
So little to observe
Yet in the vetted silence
I think I lost a nerve--
And chased the lumbering vehicle
That wandered down the street
So slowly it progressed
But it inched 'way past my feet
And in the distant sunlight
I swear I saw the doe
Descend from out the mountains
And snatch away my goal.
Now should my soul betray me
And leave my love to keep
Another place and time
As through a somber sleep.
I beg the Savior save me
From self and shallow scorn
For missing rides to distant lands
And brilliant (shallow) vision.

Cool Waters

One breath to speak a word
Two ears so we can hear it
One man to change the world
One heart so we can feel it
We are not permanent
This world is transient
Though hope is everlasting--
In these cool waters

If I am strong I can
I can shed these feelings
If I am smart I can
I can raise the ceiling.
In times of confidence
Your smile is so appealing
But when I'm down I miss
These cool waters

If I had fallen down
If I was sullied crying
Would you be there for me,
Though I be dead and dying?
I have no certainty
If what I say are lies though,
I am truthful in--
These cool waters.

I am whole
I am hopeful
I am strong
In these cool waters

Hold on to love she said
Hold on to what that smile means
Hold on to innocence
Despite the pain your feeling
You are not decadent
You are not the earth you live in
You are pure and whole--
In these cool waters.

The halves.

I looked in the mirror one day
And I did not recognize myself.

I saw a path that had sidestepped the conflict.

I saw everything that was wrong in me.

I saw beauty stamped on a wall in the bad part of Richmond.
It read: Love everyone.
It was partially covered by the word bloodkiller.
I laughed at the irony.

I saw love tattoo'd on a mans arm.
The picture of his children.
I asked him why he got the tattoo.
He said it gave him clarity.
He said it let him do what had to be done.
What had to be done to make a life for his family.
I shook his hand and told him
"I one day hope to be as strong as you."

I heard laughter covering up a broken heart,
As a joke went one step past the line
And shattered a happy moment,
With nasty words.
I am still sad that I said nothing.
Still sad that I did nothing.

I shed blood in an act of friendship.
Rather, a friend stood in the way of a blow
That split his lip.
It would not have been my first split lip,
But it was his.
He told me he wanted to know how it felt
To be strong under oppression.
I laughed and hugged him as I wept.
I choked out the words:
Now I know what it means to have a true friend.

I have dropped off a friend
Only to find out the next day
That he was dead.
I have thought I would die
Too many times.
I have prepared and planned for the way
To save my sister in the event of a drive by shooting.
I have been wronged.
I have wronged others.
I have spent hours on the blacktop
Staring at the flower that would not die.
I have called that flower a weed.
I have done what people would categorize as:
"What you got to do to survive."
I do not understand what that means.
I refuse to understand what that means.

I have sacrificed my entire self
To become this person before you.
And in the time that I have spent speaking before you now.
I have sacrificed myself,
To become better.

That same instant
I saw the good in me.
I saw strength and virtue.
I saw Abdul Baha's perfect example
Shining like a star.
I saw love blazing like a fiery angel inside
I saw tears of joy.

I saw everything that was right in me.

I feel the pressure,
Two times:
Inside and out.
Without a doubt
Life is easy,
If all you do is pout.
If you get it then I'll give it,
When I give it,
They're like damn.

(Daayyyammm)

Spit it, live it, climb and fight it,
Soul survivor,
Son of Sam.
Yes I am,
Livid, spinning,
Like those cyclist on the road.
See this minds a constant battle,
So I wrangle buck and flow.
Till you're like --"whoa."--

(Whisper: Wait, why did he stop speaking?)

Now I'm speeding,
Cause I'm angry,
So I'm rhyming like a tyrant.

(Whisper: Way to go, you made him angry.)

So I breath that fire frequent,
Forest fires, fire hydrant.
Be the cause and the beginning,
And the ends to understand,
But in the middle don't forget,
My blood is burning on the sand.

So I'll slow this karmic battle
Bullet time so ya'll can see.
(Slowly speak)
See my roots is in the fire,
So my leaves are black not green
Don't confuse,
Don't abuse it,
This respect I will devote,
Cause if you cross me,
Oh my brother,
I'll burn hotter for us both.
Smote and twisted,
Then enlisted,
Carry banner black in light.
I told you, all my brothers,
My leaves is black,
(Whisper: Wait isn't he brown? I don't get it.)
Cattle driver,
Shepard, fighter,
out of sight so out of mind.
See I'm sipping on the passion
Fuel the fire change the times.
If I'm screamin I be dreamin,
I beleive in desperate times
(Whisper: Why is he talking so loud?)
I can break this backward business,
I can shift the paradigm.

Till we eform it,
I been rockin and roll it.
Doesn't matter if you close it
I can break it and stone it.
I been facing the second hand,
Right up till the minute.
Then the hour devoured,
And made the finite infinite.
So I spin it and spin it,
Till your grinning
I seen it.
Till we feeling,
You feel it?
Till you singing
I sing it.
Till your living,
I live it.
See I'm fuming,
I'm livid.
Spitting rhymes
Like the daemon,
Unjust powers be scheming.
But the schemes aren't mighty,
Like the fist full of titans.
I cause earthquakes of world views,
See my lips only tighten
And the words that escape
Are honed sharper the knives
And they spit fire and cut through,
The wickedest times.
And the wickedest lines,
And those trickiest minds.
Soul submission to transmissions
Of the dismal-est signs.
If the signs only grow,
Like the loneliest crow.
See the blue turn black
And the end of this flow.

I said love,
What it gonna take to come through you.
See the truth is the moment we got up and then shown you.
If I spit this poison right, then truth will have shown through.
Why you sad homie?
This light is all for you.


So if I cut with a dagger,
Then my tongue is knife.
If I paint with a gun,
Then my life causeth strife.
But if I spit like an angel,
And I rise to the word.
Then I say,
Damn homie,
Man, This world is disturbed.
So imma dig through the rubble,
And plant in the land,
The seed of life,
What you think
I'm the stupidest man?
See these words is the truth,
And if you rocking the booth,
You better turn twice,
Turn nice,
You breaking your tooth.
Cause you been bitten
Yah your smitten
With the love for this land.
And if the love is the land,
Then the sea understands.
Well if the sea understands,
And your love is the land,
Raise your hands,
Palms up,
Supplicate,
Understand.

Stupidest Verse

Talk to strangers when family fails and friends lead you astray.
When jesus laughs and Buddha weeps and it turns out god is gay.
Cause angels and messiahs love can come in many forms,
Like the hallways of your projects or that fat girl in your dorms.

So I say..
Talk to strangers,
Deform it,
I been rockin and roll it.
Doesn't matter if you close it
I can break it and stone it.
I been facing the second hand,
Right up till the minute.
Then the hour devoured,
And made the finite infinite.
So I spin it and spin it,
Till your grinning
I seen it.
Till we feeling,
You feel it?
Till you singing
I sing it.
Till your living,
I live it.
See I'm fuming,
I'm livid.
Spitting rhymes
Like the daemon,
Unjust powers be scheming.
But the schemes aren't mighty,
Like the fist full of titans.
I cause earthquakes of world views,
See my lips only tighten
And the words that escape
Are honed sharper the knives
And they spit fire and cut through,
The wickedest times.
And the wickedest lines,
And those trickiest minds.
Soul submission to transmissions
Of the dismal-est signs.
If the signs only grow,
Like the loneliest crow.
See the blue turn black
And the end of this flow.

I said love,
What it gonna take to come through you.
See the truth is the moment we got up and then shown you.
If I spit this poison right, then truth will have shown through.
Why you sad homie?
This light is all for you.


So if I cut with a dagger,
Then my tongue is knife.
If I paint with a gun,
Then my life causeth strife.
But if I spit like an angel,
And I rise to the word.
Then I say,
Damn homie,
Man, This world is disturbed.
So imma dig through the rubble,
And plant in the land,
The seed of life,
What you think
I'm the stupidest man?
See these words is the truth,
And if you rocking the booth,
You better turn twice,
Turn nice,
You breaking your tooth.
Cause you been bitten
Yah your smitten
With the love for this land.
And if the love is the land,
Then the sea understands.
Well if the sea understands,
And your love is the land,
Raise your hands,
Palms up,
Supplicate,
Understand.

I said love,
What it gonna take to come through you.
See the truth is the moment we got up and then shown you.
If I spit this poison right, then truth will have shown through.
Why you sad homie?
This light is about you.

Rage

I feel the pressure,
Two times:
Inside and out.
Without a doubt
Life is easy,
If all you do is pout.
If you get it then I'll give it,
When I give it,
They're like damn.
Spit it, live it, climb and fight it,
Soul survivor,
Son of Sam.
Yes I am,
Livid, spinning,
Like those cyclist on the road.
See this minds a constant battle,
So I wrangle buck and flow.
Till you're like "whoa."
And I'm speeding,
Cause I'm angry,
So I'm rhyming like a tyrant.
So I breath that fire frequent,
Forest fires, fire hydrant.
Be the cause and the beggining,
And I'll end it this here plan.
But in the middle don't forget,
My blood is burning on the sand.

So appreciation of that station is my cause in this here land.
Sole cooperation is the reason for my stand.
If I'm burning through the roof throw some water on my hand.
Cause this mic is burning hot so I can survive these reprimands.

So I'll slow this karmic battle
Bullet time so ya'll can see.
My roots is in the fire,
So my leaves are black not green
Don't confuse,
Don't abuse it,
This respect I will devote,
Cause if you cross me,
Oh my brother,
I'll burn hotter for us both.
Smote and twisted,
Then enlisted,
Carry banner black in light.
I told you, all my brothers,
My leaves is black,
(Yah thats right.)
Cattle driver,
Shepard, fighter,
out of sight so out of mind.
Sipping on the passion
Fuel the fire change the times.
If I'm screamin I be dreamin,
I beleive in desperate times
I can break this backward business,
I can shift the paradigm.

So I say throw up your tired and bloody hands
And scream at the top of your lungs to save your lands.
If you can't do that, then fall to the contraband.
We need purity of seasons,
We need love for all of man.

Now I slowed it down enough,
It's time to speed it up.
If you done gone empty,
Quickly fill the cup.
With the Word,
Son of man,
Solo stand,
So I am,
So I am.
Solve the cypher,
Turn inside aside,
And be a fan.
Be the one,
Be enlisted,
Be talented and Risk it.
Be alive,
So you can taste it,
Fire hot
You almost missed it.
So I kissed,
Lost my lips,
Lost my eyes
To an ecclipse.
Turned so fast,
I almost flipped.
Hands are tired,
So I slipped.
Now I'm falling,
The dillema,
Slow it down,
Within the winter.
I say drop it,
Throw it faster,
This last chance,
Aint no disaster.
Livid,
spin it,
soldier win it,
light encounters,
Win it,
Thin it.
Spread it,
Showers,
Truth devours,
Darkness dying,
To our powers.
All this grinding,
Daily fuming,
Not denying,
Life resuming.
So reminding
Me to slow it.
Understand the truth below it.
Justice desires,
Foot to pavement,
Pavement miles,
So we perspire,
The love is in the journey,
And our hearts,
They are the fires.
So lets feed them till this roof
Is gonna char and then collapse,
Cause I love you brothers sisters,
And thats the only fact.

So I say throw up your tired and bloody hands
And scream at the top of your lungs to save your lands.
If you can't do that, then fall to the contraband.
We need purity of seasons,
We need love for all of man.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself?

The Sun never shines like you do.
Moon never beams like it used to.
The darkness of my dreams never seem to get between--
You make it all alright.


Ok I'm just joking. This is my stylized fun!

Upon the cliffs of foresight
I saw my future loom.
An ominous fair i dare to say,
So I dared not speak to soon.
A gentle wind
Or baited breath,
Could leave me dashed and broken.
But should I fail to speak my mind,
I'd be a trifled token.
So there the balance heretofore
Has stood and thus releif.
From decisions that could steal the score,
Like time, the only thief.
The game I play,
Has paved the way,
For tears and broken hearts.
Alas the stories are to long
For me to even start.
I do daresay
This lovely May,
Mine were those tears,
And each and every heart.

A Series of Poems

The ring of a bell.
The silence of snow.
The water pooling.
Form follows each item
As truth follows devotion.
The love of a man
Cannot be measured
By some trifled thoughts.
Only by necessity.

A series of poems

Diamond hearted breath
The deepest wretched coal mines.
Alike and yet not--
I just had to run away.
What did I run to?
If I ran to fire?
Did I never run away?
If I ran and was the fire?
Diamond hearted breath
Crystals in my very soul.
I sit and wait here
Waiting for the spring to come.

A series of poems (cont.)

In hazy moonlight
Some somber tears glow.
Like roaring windswept
Hearth burnt embers floating on
The burning air of my soul.
Melting decadence
Until the structure
That is simply man remains.
These tears cannot rust
My times true virtue.
The divine alloys the earth
Into the superstructure
That builds skyscrapers.
That builds bridges into hearts
So thick with dry underbrush
That fire could not extinguish.
Set fire to the veils for years.
For years I burned my soul.
And still my soul burns.

Serenity

I have spent the past few days doing a hodgepodge of job search and applications, re-exploring the Bay Area, and simply being. I'm not going to lie, I'm really not sleeping enough, not eating right, and in pretty terrible pain because I just started running again.

As for the positive:
*I love my family, I love being around them thoroughly. I am continuing to build the relationships with them that I wasn't able to build when I was younger. I am picking up projects to do with them so we can make up for those lost younger years, but more importantly, because I want to do them.
*I have been dreaming. Not in the sense that I am engrossed in a story that I have trouble understanding. I am waking up, knowing exactly what needs to be done. I feel like I am being guided to a mental, emotional, spiritual and PHYSICAL place I need to be in this world. Mentally, I'm there, emotionally I've got a work to do, spiritually, oh lordy read me them prayers, but physically, I am close but far.

To expand: I know I have to be on a coast or in the mountains. I am at peace in these places. The sheer enormity and power that is nature grounds my fears, my sorrows, my melancholy and transforms it into something beautiful. A serenity of mind, heart and and soul that I can only achieve through meditation otherwise. Something about linking myself with the huge and immobile, and realizing how small I really am.

The moment I see the pettiness of my existence, I am able to escape the veils that I create for myself and achieve that happiness I thrive on. I have know this feeling around certain people, but this is a part of it I can achieve on my own.

Lastly: I'm a bit intuitive , but I don't trust the feeling much further then I can throw it (A friend of mine laughed at the idea of intuition. She thought it was all observation and a keen mind. I'm one to agree, kind of). I'm learning to trust it in certain situations, and I'm not going to lie, I think I am going to end up in Davis for work, or not going to be working at all. I'm ok with it. I thought I had to escape the place to acheive who I am, but that is silly and short sighted. There may be a place I have to be eventually, but wherever I am in the meanwhile is a place for me to grow.

So I just keystyled this, but its fitting:

I love to love. I love to care. I love to cry. I love the air. The crisp sensation, that cuts your breath. The fire in your lungs, the right and left. I cannot express, what tears evoke. I love to love. I love to hope.

Series of Poems

I've been working on a series of poems off and on over the past 6 months and almost all of them are in a classic Japanese style. Lots of 5-7-5, and some 7-7-7-5-5. All of them either following the style completely or mimicking a style. Here are a few of them... (None of them are named)

Enjoy.

Spring the laden petal drops--
Dew--Scent mingled solitude.
The thorns thus draw my force out.
Within; life courses
Through every beauty—
Even that which has no blood.
For love is beauty.

In the sky where lovers play
And truth is but a kiss
Of summer breezes.
I miss the gails and thrusting winds
That parry words without substance,
And demand my blood written heart
As a crystal vase for their spring blossoms.
My breath I would trade for your attacks,
If I could only know your voice.

Things I Must Do

I'm graduated and am free of any real commitment. This is a list of things I have wanted to do and haven't been able to for whatever reason:

1. Spend large amounts of time submersed in nature.
2. Read Catcher in the Rye
3. Return borrowed books and lend books to friends who have let me borrow them.
4. Return to the physical conditioning I had about a year ago.
5. Get the tattoo's I've wanted to get.
6. Continue my progress on the guitar
7. Write a real poem.
8. Smile
9. Visit friends and family I have not seen in some time.
10. Serve at Bosch.
11. Re-educate myself on the meaning of shibumi. Return to that ideal.
12. Related to 11- Be what I am, nothing more and nothing less.
13. Read Pride and Prejudice

That is it so far, but I feel the list will grow.

Sunspots

The time between slumber and wakefulness,
Where the world is observed through the lens of the subconscious.
The place where your showering and dreaming simultaneously
Is where I don't see sunspots.
Thats when I know it is time to wake.

I stand in my whitewashed,
2 by 5 shower and bathtub enjoying
The almost burning sensation of slightly too hot
(But not really too hot because thats how I drink my tea)
Water circumnavigating my body.
Those dreary eyes are slowly opening--
Trained.
They know what the shower means, so,
The day begins.
As I ponder my days activities
And have a mental discussion as to the best
possible courses of action I remember my first sunspot.
I remember looking at the sun because it was brilliant--golden-warming--perfect.
An orb of grandeur hanging in the midday sky tanning my skin to a color so dark,
Some persians thought I was indian,
And some strangers would speak Hindy to me.
Needless to say,
I burned my eyes.

This sunspot,
This blindspot.
This place I no longer have vision exists with me permanently.
A tattoo to remind me of childhood innocence.
A physical embodiment of what it means to look up at the skies.

My second sunspot happened much later in life.
A fluttering heart perhaps.
Or perhaps a thoughtful necessity.
Either way a conscious decision to behold a light so strong,
It burns away all veils of this reality,
Leaving you with nothing.
No sight to behold,
No truth to rationalize,
No stupidity to blame.
Just existence.
Just deep, profound, divine existence.
An existence so astounding I remained in a lowly stupor
For hours groveling at what it meant to be alive.
The pain so great you realize what it means to be alive.
A reality thought lost demands you to be alive.
All extremes demand of you to be alive.

As I scan the various latitudes and longitudes of this faux tile plastic knockoff waterproof indoor siding,
I see more sunspots.
Or rather,
I fail to see whitewashed plastic walls.
Almost as if,
They are mobile pinholes in my reality,
That give me a veritable peepshow into true existence,
Where the Sun burned through the veils of this world.

Some holes are barely noticeable,
And still others remind me of pop flies in the outfield,
Or headers that lounged too lazily in the sky.
They litter my vision in these morning hours,
Where the sun gently wraps its warmth over the land.
A time where I can stare at its magnificence,
Without fear of destroying my facade of human vision.

There are times in dreams where I stare at a wall and see no sunspots.
Times when the pages of a book are pristine and intelligible.
I frantically search for my past in those moments.
Needing my proof,
Of humbling myself before a higher power.
And when I fail to find them,
I always wake in a cold sweat.
Heart racing and soul fearful of a boy so overconfident,
He lays all his affairs on his feeble shoulders
And rests all his gazes on the shallow earth.
Slowly.
Very slowly I remember:
There is glory in abasement,
And transcendence in lowliness.

Potential Energy

I am a ten ton hammer poised to fall.
Force equals mass times acceleration due to gravity.
So, I am a ten ton force existing on the brink.
Potential energy existing within my spring like limbs,
My limber limbs lack luster, but are not lackluster.
My strength of body exists simply as an example for strength of mind.
A blueprint for the future set upon the foundation of the heretofore.
It’s pen inked with the solace of my spirit.
That tenuous force that guides the wayward
And brings remedy to the stricken and downtrodden.

So I am a ten ton force.
And I am driving piles into the swamp of self.
Pumping out water to make space for the edification
Of this human race.
It all starts within myself.
So I take this hammer and raise it up to the heavans.
With one switch of the mind,
I bring it crashing down—
Forcing order on entropy.
Divinity and the other half,
And building calluses from my bloodied hands.
Can’t nobody tell me what a dollars worth,
I know the exact amount of blood and sweat
It takes to dig a ditch with a pickaxe.
And though I know the flow of blood slows,
Coagulates and grows into scabs that show
The world for what it truly is,
I have no fear that fear can disappear,
And love can clear the clouds of confusion.
Replacing them with that clear vision—
I am a ten ton force
And can’t no man keep me down,
But the one standing before you.

Whats worst?
To be held down,
Or to have never tried to rise?
To have stared at the dirt ones whole life?
Or to have gazed at the skies?
I am not even a broken winged bird,
I am a groveling dung beetle,
Making my life on the refuse and waste of others,
On the land that no other wanted.
I welcome constraints and limitations,
Confusions and upheaval.
Give me pain and frustrations,
Anger and tears.
Lord knows if I didn’t have them,
I’d have made them on my own.
Give me the higher path,
Or give me a mountain and a walking stick.
Show me the highest mountain peak,
And it will be my next step.

These lines are not enough
To sacrifice for love.
This language is not enough
To sacrifice for love.
There is not enough breath in my lungs,
Nor Blood in my veins,
To sacrifice for my love.
And if I sundered every part of my body,
Atom by atom.
Molecule by molecule.
That pain would not be enough of a sacrifice for my love.
Since my death cannot be a sacrifice to thee,
I offer thee my life, my dance, my laughter, my hope and my joy
As a sacrifice to thee my love.
That I may drive piles into this last,
Until all that exists,
Is this ten ton hammer,
And these two callused hands,
Service in sacrifice,
A potentiality of love.
And nothing more.

I am a ten ton hammer,
But it takes a ten ton soul
To set me free.

An actually finished peice - Evening Tides

I set out each eventide,
Walking the path through scent laden allies,
And noise filled tenement blocks.
I look up at the buildings as if to determine
Which windows are gateways to new worlds?
And which are simply empty.
Those vacant memories warm me with their sunshine--
They are a vapid tendril of some truth I am yet to know.
I am ever hopeful that the new homeowners
Might have better luck then their neighbors.
These vacant windows-
They are the placeholders at some great meal,
At some great judgment,
Of which I bring myself to account each day—
Hoping to take the edge off of consequences
Of the inhabitants of these tenement blocks.
Hoping to save them from a little bit of that misery they already know.

The streets are still swimming with meandering scenes
Waiting to be fulfilled
By the everyday players
Of this—our greatest play.
Or to rephrase:
The only play showing in town.
As this walk turns into a trot,
And this trot into a canter,
And this canter races the very waves of the
Moonlit tide which wash away the transgressions
Of the day.
I grab my surfboard and go for a ride among the stars.
Ever mindful of the Orion and his nasty temper.
As I take a drink from the Big Dipper,
I return to places long forgotten:
Simultaneously the events reenact themselves
As my hands begin trembling,
And my heart starts to pound.
This eventide comes with a terrifying truth:
The shark is lurking.
His teeth pearly white,
His eyes a placid grey,
And his smile--
His smile is ever enticing.
Fear is always inviting.
Especially when one is running.
And as he lunges through black steely water,
With the terrifying speed of thought,
I can do nothing but turn around and leap toward him,
With naught but a smile on my face,
And love in my heart.
That city of mind, heart and soul is to large.
Its foundations set too deeply into the blood my palms,
And the sweat of my brow.
I am too much to be devoured by
The darkness lurking in the shadows of the glassy blue night.
For I am fueled by the light of The Word.
I cannot be devoured,
For my soul belongs to He.

Not done as usual.

Oh God guide me,
Protect me from the things I cannot see,
And the things that I cannot be.
And set me on a line so straight,
That I can win over the hearts of this human race.
And make me a fire so hot
That I may set flame to mankind and their thoughts.
Well if these thoughts are one fire,
Maybe,
This is the funeral pyre,
Maybe,
This is the crux of my desire.
Maybe,
I'll do more than just perspire,
If I shine like an arrow of God
With my entire.
And maybe,
This is the inflection of time,
Words rhyme, the sea shines,
Telling me sunshine,
Is so kind.
So kindly we go,
To change words into action,
Stoicism to flows.
Till this world just explodes,
In a rainbow of sunshine.
Colored with the races of God,
And his design.

Sublime

Its sublime how segments of time intertwine in my mind, to reveal the purpose of all these simple lines. These lines coalesce into rhymes and thus align all my thoughts into some empiracle design. So I refine this series thoughts with some design that is meant to slow the limitless bounds of my mind. To slow the limitless speed that reminds me of what I am meant to do with these signs.

Iron and Ice

If I am strong,
And brittle as a veil.
I crack in fire,
And smoulder in hell.
If I am soft,
And melt in the fire.
Then its cause your eyes,
Are my desire, and...

I am breaking through my fears like
Iron through Ice,
Like Iron through Ice,
Like Iron through Ice.

And I am cutting through these tears like,
Iron through Ice,
Like Iron through Ice,
Like Iron through Ice.

And I've been loving through the pain like,
Iron through Ice,
Like Iron through Ice,
Like Iron through Ice.

Now I wont shatter,
And I wont rust.
I'll hold the weight,
Of this life I trust.
But does it matter,
Where the light goes,
I know I'm ready,
To the fire I go.

I am breaking through my fears like
Iron through Ice,
Like Iron through Ice,
Like Iron through Ice.

And I am cutting through these tears like,
Iron through Ice,
Like Iron through Ice,
Like Iron through Ice.

And I've been loving through the pain like,
Iron through Ice,
Like Iron through Ice,
Like Iron through Ice.

Birthday Blasphemin

It's my birthday,
And I'll cry if I want to,
Die if I want to,
Be superfly if I want to...

If I want to fly super like,
Two bits of kryptonite,
Don't matter whats wrong or right,
I can write about sight,
Above sight,
My voice is all those tones.
Sing that song and throw that stone.
I seen the golden dome,
It broke and cracked my every bone.
But now I'm stronger--faster,
Don't even call me master.
I am a student borne,
Rhyme that pain,
And beat that scorn.
Beat those drums,
And crush that bass.
Break that nose,
And snuff that face.
Snuff those words
Up out this place,
I am the man of outer space.
Man of the year,
Two weeks in a row.
I can't count,
Thats how it goes.
Don't need money,
Nor them hoes.
Just need lovin,
Thats my goal.
Cause now I'm stronger--better,
I work in every weather.
I work in every storm,
I'm every man in every home.
Every word and every breath,
Breath this air up in your chest,
Slam that door,
Lets do-see-do,
Break these pilings,
With these flows.

I'm breakin every rule,
And writing every line.
You see the stars come out,
I'll clean em up in time.
You want to see the sun,
Well I'm the only one.
You see the missiles fly,
It's time to do or die.

I'm too cool for school,
I learned the golden rule.
I measured pain in life,
I lived that blood,
I cleaned that knife.
And when the time it comes,
To build that kingdom come,
We praise the only sun,
He's sanctified,
Thy will be done.
Thy will be magnified,
Such is, and such we died.
Our blood is sanctified,
We survived the genocide.
And should the sabers flash,
And there the martyrs lie.
We live another test,
A mental death,
Internal life.

I'm breaking every rule,
And writing every line.
You see the stars come out,
I'll clean em up in time.
You want to see the sun,
Well I'm the only one.
You see the missiles fly,
It's time to do or die.

My hearts the simplest beat,
It goes and thus repeats.
Repeats and thus refrains.
And so I still remain.
So quick I can't remember,
The words that mean surrender.
The words that mean to speak,
So quick I can't repeat.
Repeat and thus delay,
Rhyme schemes are so passe,
Cliche and so irate,
So speak and berate,
So seal my only fate.
Cause now I'm faster - better,
I fall in every weather.
I fall in ever world,
Fall in time,
Return as pearl.
So if the sun comes up,
And the titanic rises.
This world is infinite,
Within my palm,
A god resides and...

I'm breaking every rule,
And writing every line.
You see the stars come out,
I'll clean em up in time.
You want to see the sun,
Well I'm the only one.
You see the missiles fly,
It's time to do or die.

New Years

New years.
New, years.
As in years that are new.
As in the ones of past are old and dusted
With the burnt veils of past years.
As in, I've taken my torch and gone hunting.
Hunting for the things that deceive me.
Deflect me.
Confuse and confound me.
Just drown me in summer sun,
And hide the melancholy from me,
Cause it's a drought that must be drained.
Its last drop dangling,
Like my last material hopes,
That I embody in hard work, sweat, but never tears.
My tears are reserved for love,
And material love I cannot comprehend,
Nor accept.
I know what I want,
And what I do not want.
The question is what is best for me.
Best for myself embodied in this moment.
M.E. is myself embodied.
For without body what I want is so much greater.
The loftiest mounts and minds could never see,
Nor comprehend the needs and desires of myself without body.
Body limits all, and colors our vision.
I must cut off weakness,
And leave desire to the wolves.
I must disintegrate as I walk through the razor wire winds of love,
Leaving all else beside love aside,
As the physical is torn asunder.
I must walk through wave after wave of lava,
Willing scorched flesh to move,
Though it cannot.
Until something remains.
Until nothing more can be lost.
Until nothing more can be burned,
Beaten, sharpened, cut, and navigated.
Until I have reached the shores of ALMOST
comprehension which I desire.
These new years are my struggle.
These new years are my adorning.
The past is just a place of comparison
By which I see my distance traveled.
My tears are just fuel for this machine.
My blood is just the oil that allows this machinery of soul to push
Through the tracks of a material society,
To acheive some greater good.
This body is a tool to acheive some greater good.
I am just a tool to achieve that greater good.
Without that good, I am simply blunted tool
Waiting to be sharpened,
Hardened and honed,
To someday be used again.
I hope you all,
A new year.

Scent

Smells confound me.
How can a smell draw me down
A road I seem to remember.
Why does each step seem more familiar?
I'm still that visitor,
With the smeared ink
Denoting my name and existence.
The only thing keeping me dry,
Is the fact that I'm desperately
Beating back the tears
With words of detachment.
As I gaze into the mirror
Probing my intentions.
I find them pure,
And just.
I'm just jealous.
Green with an envy I have never known.
Never known until today.
How silly am I to be so strong,
But brought down by the natural fragrance,
Of a beautiful girl.