sojourn today

we are always in hurries to get what we want
in time we find time was the cost of the search
sacrifice leaves for rain and for snow
the ice we wish for in lemonade we lost for the heat

i dare not i think not i never do know
if wainscoting walls in february
can save me from the wall paper in january
a year dissappears in the time in between

i know not december, shes unknown to me
and mondays and tuesdays have never been friends
but the time on a wing thats a song i have wrote
could never forge future sacrifice

for a sojourn today

Suffering and Pain

Pain without suffering is like pleasure without joy.

The former of each is purely an individual concept. We feel pain and thus learn not to cut, burn or hurt ourselves. We feel pleasure and thus learn to eat, kiss, and hold each other tight. These lessons are solely ways to preserve ourselves physically and thus continue our species.

However, suffering and joy both give meaning to pain and pleasure. To toil through pain, is suffering, is sacrifice, is meaningful abandonment of ones individual physicality for some greater good. To enjoy pleasure, on a mental level, gives meaning to an otherwise empty act.

To fast is not to deal with some annoyance of pain, but to suffer outright. To give some meaning to a sacrifice.

I can change the world

I said its acid etched anger on a solitary card held high above the mountains in the game among the stars
God damn she exclaimed, and raised her fist to the sky - on the way knocked me out - now I got a black eye.
Get tougher, from within, how I felt. See the steel exposed weakness in his eyes when he knelt
"Mother fucker" with a breath ice caps gonna melt - Father save me from the lash of the thing on his belt
"damn this smoke is forever" and these "clouds are forever" breath em in that polution - so asmathic muscles sever
In a slip in a fall in a call in a catch in a second, 60 seconds, operation reattach
In the batter, in the matter, split it up like a feather, reach the sky on the wings of a breath I could die.

Keep it low - on the sly, with a wink of an eye, in the dead of the night, steal a saddened mothers sigh

Sell it high, bring it low, toss the soldiers - too and fro - lose the best in a throw - now the rest lose control

And the rest of this moral - is the best is the soul - change a heart on parole - with the depths of this flow

So breath. Then repeat. I can change the world.

Dont blink, get socked in the eye, with a flash in a barrel all my problems gonna die

Short sighted like the end of the night when the dark isn't light but we scared that the sun wont ever give light

5 minutes from the sun to the earth, giveth birth to the life to a son that deserves

But deserves is a battle in a twinkle of an eye see a tear hit the floor and my friend get high

What it is, what that mean, speaking words too obscene for the children in my sight, those words aren't right

What they do in the light upright, in fear taking flight from those that appear with superior might.

Add an F to a trucker, take P from a pass, T and A got behavior and this rap gets crass.

Sell my soul to the hate, so I get irate, bring war to an ignorant world and state.

Pass my pen to my fate, sow this hoe in the ground, lay a life in a casket, drinking liquor profound.

Pour a sip to Brendon, cause everybody knows, when you 13 and you die, virgins the same as hos.

And repeat. I will cleanse my mouth and soul.

If the soap is the writings of this Gods only Son and he died for my sins so I sing his song,
If he lived for my sins than I sing his song, Man I sing his song, till his will be done.
And I will through life like a heartbeats knife, like jose loves lies, we can break these ties
With a word and a breath I can check myself before I wreck myself, man I bleed for health
And a see saw is what I saw sam do, man this summer seems wrong, then we saw sam flew
To a jail house booth, in the the train caboose, cause his color is wrong, skin color aint truth
And he cant two step, and cant do jerk, see him fallen down, see downtrodden youth
See him put in work, and his work do work, man he change his life, in his soul insert
The inert may rise, but volatile burn, and we burn them files, just to get free miles
And that sam know how, change the tao of now, save a masters son, cause his life worth while.
Now a see saw is, what a see saw do, fallen down some times, but he rise then flew
Cause if yan can cook, and then write a book, then sams that man tryin to change outlooks.

And repeat, we all know this story.

Sometimes I write something worthwhile

i remember
when we used to play
in the schoolyard in Richmond
and all the dealers
would hangout outside our gates
hoping to corrupt our fates
me seth and gino
we pay no mind
gotta leave them hustlers working overtime
you know that devil
gonna do his work
brendon, ronald benny sleeping in the dirt

do you come from california
where every city's another world ya
some addicts fiending
while dancers dreaming
as we getting jumped by juveniles

I remember
when we used to fight
the flipped collars in L town
them soccer moms look like
them soccer daughters
while friends are dying in the night
ignorant diction
flares my convictions
a burning core sits in my chest, chest
you know that hunger
aint got no cause
the stock market actin santa clause, so

do you come from california
where ever city's another world ya
you see them beamers
aint dealing dimes
you know we blind to them white collar crimes

i remember
when we used to stare
into a futures nightime gloom
the foggy evenings
they numb my thoughts
my broken heart cannot be fought
mistakes we maken
mistakes we made
sometimes for joy
my tears go on parade, so

no woman no cry
no woman no cry
hey little sister
no shed no tear
i shed em all for every yester-year

Je Suis Le Vent

I think the way the arrow flies is how i see my life:
A rush of turbulence and strife upended with clear vision.
As the vision comes to pass it seems the earth does know,
So in jealously it rises up to swallow me and bring the night.

Or is it I am the air that is jostled by the arrow's flight?
Knocked aside by razors edge then caught by feather wings.
Carried for a lifetime to places never known
And deposited upon shallow earth to sit atop its wooden throne.

If I said I was the wind, would you turn away and laugh?
The one that feels the most at home panting shallow breaths.
The one that lives to bound and tussle within some outer chaos
Exists within to know himself and his oft conflicting elements.

Yet peace is not an end to conflict, I'm sure the wind does know.
It is simple maturation of the individual and so
External vision may reveal a shattered saddened past
But words revealed from sadness's steel and quenched in loves reserve
Are often clear as summer days and accurate as arrows guided by a smiling

Breeze.

Afterglow

I have already seen the afterglow
But the natal glow
Is yet to be known by my eyes

Its too late to play
The drums in the living room
But play them anyways
So we can camouflage the words
That make sound ugly

I prefer not knowing
The pasts, but they keep showering
Them upon me.

Take your fire hose of woes
And place them gently in your room
Take the key and swallow it
So we can revisit that place
In a few hours

In the interim
If the silence is prodigious
Just know the word you chose
Was the wrong one

I know not what the future holds
But I know it glows
Like soft coals in the summer sun

I have seen the afterglow
And it burns
Like a thousand suns

A windswept flower
Falls appart when sought idly.
Wildness cannot be--
Should it be for wildness' sake.
All tigerss lame enclosed.
Yet wrestling eternally
Fierce eyes that wont die.
Methinks this is living.