Cashin those checks

My words render me naked.

I may stand clothed in front of you,
But I am naked.
I may sit smiling,
But I am,
In this very moment,
The most terrified I have been
In many years.

This feeling confuses me:
Judgement.
When was the last time I cared about
Others judgement.
When was the last time
I felt my words
Could be my destruction
And not my salvation?
What does this all mean?

My writing is such a part of me.
They are the indellible ink on paper.
Thoughts mortared into some reality
Defining my thoughts.
Cause its so easy to have thoughts,
But so hard to set them in stone.
Cause when they are set
You can't just walk away.

I look back to the beginning of this leg
Of my journey.
The fear was that the words
Would not result in action.
The fear was that
I did not mean what I said,
And that I could not do
What I said.
Yet I stand here,
Naked.
Clothed only by my deeds
Cause I'm so scared of my own words.
For the first time,
Am I afraid to write checks
Knowing that I can cash em?

What does it mean
To finally be afraid
Of what many others
Have
Feared their
Entire
Lives.

What does it mean
To be human?

Penny for a thought, a Nickel for some Soul

I saw beauty in a painted bus
As it slowly rolled away
I wondered where they went
As muted music played
So much to build a universe
So little to observe
Yet in the vetted silence
I think I lost a nerve--
And chased the lumbering vehicle
That wandered down the street
So slowly it progressed
But it inched 'way past my feet
And in the distant sunlight
I swear I saw the doe
Descend from out the mountains
And snatch away my goal.
Now should my soul betray me
And leave my love to keep
Another place and time
As through a somber sleep.
I beg the Savior save me
From self and shallow scorn
For missing rides to distant lands
And brilliant (shallow) vision.