The Blues

I miss my rough and tumble hands,
Their my proof at a hard life.
I miss the cuts and the bruises,
Their my proof at a hard life.
Though the dirt and grime'll fade,
I'm stained on the inside.

I ain't never been so nervous,
As I am when I see you.
Ain't no naturalness, No closeness,
As when I am with you.
So if you let me in lady,
We just gotta have the truth.

So if I make it out of bed today,
Then it's gonna be a good day.

These tears that I been crying,
Rough and tumble tears.
These tears that I been crying,
They all cause all of my fears.
Cause your the thing that I want lady.
And I ain't got no more strength for fear.

So if I make it out of bed today,
Then it's gonna be a good day.

Unconcerned

I am inspired.
In the hand I was dealt.
Dealt so much,
And so much dealt back.
Give me a hammer and some nails,
And I'll make worlds stack.
But everything I've tossed away,
I've donated to the wolves.
They growl and devour,
Whats spiritual and good.
Such is, Such is the banter of our world.
Some things, Some things are made for this world.
Those things, Those things will thus gain dust.
Dust is, Dust is, Dust is - Just dust.

But my love for thee
Can in no ways be forgotten.
It burns so strong,
Impetus for all I've gotten.
Gotten strength, and the weakness I've forgotten.
I took the knife of love to my soul,
And tore out seven pounds of rotten.
So I've fought with my fists,
And I've fought with my words.
I've lost both times,
Independent of all my courage.
Independent of all my strength,
Quickness, and intelligence.
Cause when you fight all you do is
Get tired,
And I've been sick of it.
So I turn around,
And I turn the other cheek.
Bootstrap myself,
With all the love that's been begotten.
Survive on a ray of light,
That's what I had sought and,
Survived on a ray of light,
That's how I'm walking.

Yet as I whittle, whittle,
And whistle while I work.
I slip and cut my finger,
And bleed out onto creation.
These blood tinged skies,
So pretty in desolation,
The light bleeds I,
Don't know my constellations.
And can't tell you north from south,
Or south from north.
All I know is where the sun rises,
Is where my prayers set their course.
The truth in this discourse,
You can never know where your ship arrives,
You can only set your sails,
And make prayers your cries.
So I've cried so many nights,
About how I've done the wrong.
But I forgot those nights,
Where my heart was so strong,
And my words so eloquent,
I could have never been the author.
Truth is,
I know that Gods my sponsor.
So I keep making my own path,
Through this frozen desolation.
Set bonfires along the way,
To bring heat and thus elation
To the peoples of the worlds.
All their love gives me courage.
To be the man I am,
Cause what I am,
Is to share all I've learned.

The Blues

I have a melancholy
And its got your name on it.
You own that part of me,
So I'll just cut it off and laugh.

I thought I heard god
But it was just the rumbling earth
I said I thought I heard god
In that rumbling earth

Pain is just the weakness
Leaving your spirit
I guess I've got no weakness
But that pain still around.

I thought I felt god,
But it was just a passing wave
I said I thought I felt god,
In a passing wave.

I see a beauty in that picture
It don't matter if it makes me cry
I see a beauty in that pain
I don't want that solace anyways

I thought I saw god
But it was just the passing wind
I said I thought I saw god
In that passing wind

I thought I cried god,
But it was just the howling wind.
I said I thought I cried god
Well I'll do it anyways.

12/19/08

Inside the solitude of self,
Inside the solitude of mind
I built a world upon these thoughts,
And all these thoughts they were just times.
They were just times upon that mind,
That was simply just denying,
Simply so inane,
And in time I lost my frame.
So I was something that was not me,
Upon these questions tragedy.
The thought and the question,
Was I more then I could see?

Some words kindly injected,
Then so vexed I was infected,
With a thought that I was more then I could see.
So presented with a question,
That I was more than I'll be,
If I was so little now,
Then what was I to be today?
Today is just tomorrows been,
And todays been is yesterday,
Yesterday was to be greater,
Then whats today?

These words are all the simple truths,
The diction and the fiction
That we create each day in life.
In every thought, we thought we were.
But if we are more then we are,
And I was more then I'll be,
Then what am I?
Then what am I?
Then what am I?

So presented with this question
Yes I've chosen,
Oh I've chosen,
To exist as I am now.
In these tests and these decisions,
Or those indecisioned failures,
Are just self.
The reasons, motivations, and the answers
That I've sought,
Pose no matter, are no matter,
All that matters is that I've fought.
With ever ounce,
And every atom,
To be a son of adam,
That deserves the name and station of baha.

If the diction is all wrong,
And the truth has all turned fiction,
And the harvest has gone awry,
Because my choices were all lies.
And the wrongs pile onto wrongs,
And the right is never found.
It never really mattered,
Because words never rhymed.
I can rest knowing that I am strong.

And so the strength that I've begotten,
Or I've created, or I've gotten, or I've strengthened,
Or I've made, or I've built into this place,
Into this mind, into this heart, into this soul,
Into this part of me that grow
That Grows
That grows
That grows
That grows.
Cause I'm not one to stand aside,
And let the world go on itself.
I will raise upon this banner top,
The songs that I have sung.
The songs I have sang so many nights,
To give me strength to cry.
To give me strength to make it right,
To let me make it by.
But I am done with all this eeking.
I am done with this subsistance.
I am done just being,
I am living,
I am seeing.
How the sun shines through the clouds,
In the darkest of the storms.
And the starts come out at night,
With never ending courage.
And a waterfall that batters stones,
Can only make them smooth.
I am ready to skip across the lake,
And never wet my feet.

Dust

If I created this life from dust,
To dust it goes.
Should I keep the intrinsic,
The virtues that I know.
Should I be judged for my meaning,
Or for the choices I did know?
If I should cut myself down,
And onto nothingness go?

If I should,
Live like a vagabond,
A highway man theif.
If I should,
Make all the money,
And become the disease.
If I should,
See all these choices,
Out in a line,
Then I should,
Be strong enough,
To choose well in time.
But if I,
Should falter,
Falling astray.
Then I should,
Push through connections,
The love and the hate.
Then I should,
Be strong enough,
To stand up alone.
Then I should,
Stand,
Stand Like a stone.

Be like a stone in a moment,
A lover the next.
The contradictions of my diction,
Serve notes on arrest.
Like racial indignation,
The station resets.
Then were back down to nothing,
Building ourselves.
But if we live for the moment,
A time in our lives.
Where were stronger then we've ever been,
To reach the goals in our lives.
Then we magnify and own it,
Mortar and stone it.
Raise ourselves above ourselves,
And keep the setting, stage loaded.
Then we can fly like a bird,
Chasing the wind.
Then we can be what we want,
Stronger then whim.

Teraforming Self

Strictly speaking,
I am a valley of self.
Between mountains of ego,
And a spring of spirituality.
My goal is that some day
This valley becomes flooded
With the waters of love and truth.
The process is slow and systematic,
but that spring that was once an oasis,
Is quickly turning this place
Into a sweltering jungle.
In time all that will remain are the pure waters
Of a lake so clear,
One can see the remains of that oasis,
That served my sanctuary.

Word of Worlds

I push too hard,
Too fast,
Too long,
Too strong.
Two eyes,
Two lips,
One mind,
One kiss.
One thought,
Two minds,
Two hearts,
Two times.
I wont,
Ever,
Give up,
This race.
I push forever,
To save this place:
My mind,
My heart,
My love,
My spark.
Redress,
Remarks,
Reframe,
Insane,
As passion
In His name.

Express,
One word,
One life,
In Gods name.
Expel,
My life,
My weakness,
My pain.
My tears:
My rain
Give life.
Refrain,
Profane,
Detain
Efforts to remain inane.
Efforts corrupted by
The veils we make.
Inside and out,
Juxtopposed the redoubt,
Breath in and quick shout:
I am alive,
And I will never,
Set down this stone,
This knife,
This gun,
This life,
This blood,
We bled,
To save us from,
Mistakes,
Intakes,
Expel,
Repel,
I sell,
Sea shells,
To sea shores.
Cause it seems-
I remember my childhood lore.
I remember this, that and more.
I remember what it is in store.
I remember threadbare rugs,
And knotted floors.
I remember whiplash,
Of many lives past.
I remember marshal law,
And city streets.
Does it really matter whether,
I speak this to beats?

I have a past:
And it is too strong,
To righteous,
To ever be forgotten.
Long drawn bows,
Hunt game in this begotten,
Word of worlds,
Beholden hearts of courage.
Little feats plod cleats and my mind it stirs.
If it's a dream, then it seems life is so untrue.
And if it's real, then its real, and I'll stand with you.
But this past, and this stand, and these words
And this land,
Must never,
Never be forgotten

Finals :)

He's like a thousand heartbeats,
Raging at once.
Stronger then the thoughts of defeat,
On this battlefront.
And should his knees get weak,
He will walk to the front,
And say a simple prayer,
Then continue his hunt.

Strength is Soft

Somethings are hard.
Others so hard,
They shatter at the slightest breath.
Yet others change and rearrange,
For apparently no reason.
Some can stand the test of time,
By bending, changing, drawing lines.
A tree that grows through cracks in pavement.
The grass that grows in the desert sand.
The flower that stands up,
To the soles of many.

So my soul and I sailed the ocean of life.
Wracked by the storms of self.
Burned by the sun of love.
Until a tidal wave,
Threw me and washed my sails away.
And so in isolation,
I sat and I so yearned,
To set sail once again.
To be that setting sun.

Until I had thus learned,
You can set your sails for whatever lands you wish,
But the ocean,
She decides where you belong.
And so my walls thus crumbled,
Like the tower of Babylon.
I learned that I'd mistaken,
Strength for a brittle facade.

I ain't no fisherman

Two steps forward, and one step back.
I walk my own path, and make my own tracks.
Aloof and pretentious, hopeless and inspired,
Walk your own path,
Lit by my lonely heart of fire.
You'll see:
I stared at a lion just to prove I wouldn't blink.
Gave away a pot of gold, just to show I couldn't sink.
Rhymed this and that just to show you I could write,
Then turned it on a dime, just to show you I was bright.
So I shined like the sun, to warm this frigid land.
Then shared my soul, so that you could understand.
The core of myself,
And the basic of my nature.
Cause words cant decide,
But faces motivate ya.
Cause I ain't no lawyer, or doctor, or voice of the land.
I am what I am, and what that is is a man.
So I put one foot front the other,
And walk my own path.
Cause as I walk this land,
I litter pictures with my flash.
I need no compass,
For my map is written by the One.
Trinity mistaken,
For the Matrix, not the Son.
For my love is for a daughter,
And her smile too bright to break.
We've all seen better times,
But the futures whats at stake.
And as I've pushed,
And as I've learned,
The tiredness is just the scorn.
Its no skin off your back,
Be energized,
And thus reborn.
Know that every moments precious,
Cause even with a heavy heart.
You brighten peoples day,
With your happiness,
Your spark.